We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
