You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
