i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
