I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
