My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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