Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
