I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
