Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
