My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
