This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
