Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
