I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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