Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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