Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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