she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
