Do you still have your period?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
