help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
