I wish my penis had an off switch
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
