I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
