will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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