I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
