Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
