In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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