I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
