and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
