brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
