tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
