I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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