Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
