Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
