Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
