there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
