WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
