She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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