So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
