Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
