Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
