Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
