you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
high people should be assigned attendants
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
