You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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