I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
