i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
