I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
