Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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