that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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