With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
