What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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