Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
