Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.