From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Do you have feelings for this penis?