you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself