if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
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Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.