We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
