I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
