You work out of a Hotel?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
