A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
