I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
