i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
not ubering you a puppy
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
