she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
