He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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