She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
