Pants 0. Shit 1.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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