i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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