I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
