I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i need to put some appletini on your dick
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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