I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the day after is always just damage control
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
