i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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