All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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