is your mom at the bar?
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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