I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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