His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I understand Curling. That high.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
