You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
