Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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